Love for Exams <3

I LOVE EXAMS!!!!

Well that said, let me clear something... I don[t really study for exam! In fact I don't study at all like all of you... Then what makes me even like this horrendous, cynical, pompous and demoralizing act??!!

Because I go for the exam empty mind I cant understand the question (no surprise there) and so I spend first half trying to understand the question!! Its like a unknown mysterious puzzle where I try to put together words to make sense! Its fun specially I end up understanding it in a way which is nowhere closely resemble the subject and then I try to answer them (I once answered geography questions like it was economics!!) Now the answers are no where short of a work of a genius... I sometimes even surprise myself!!

I even get some free time where I have my mind free which I utilize to wander in space and time... I think about stuff like plan to take revenge on the damn mosquitoes I can drink get totally drunk and when those flying bastards take my blood they will be wasted to and will keep flying into stuff like chairs, tables, walls or each others... Take that bastards!!

I also enjoy watching other people, specially beautiful people (nobody even notices!!) There are all kind of behaviors in the exam room. I have seen people staring at the walls and then suddenly hitting their head vigorously6-7 times and then continue writing! Its quite amusing to see people trying to sneak their chits from bottom of their shoes to their socks, then to their pockets and from there to under the answer sheet.... Its a tiring process but worth watching! Its the only place where people sweat inside an AC room (I can think of one other situation but that cant be publicly seen!!) And the reaction on everyone's face when the first time some one asks for additional sheet and it turns out the person who consistently been featuring in bottom 10!

Its actually not very wise to sit next to a good looking girl because the area becomes for some unknown reason the favorite area for the invigilators to petrol. Its the same for the good looking guys in case of female invigilators... I still have to do some research to understand this weird phenomenon! But until then beware....

We are always taught to be good to our neighbors and the strength of unity and we must always stick together in times of adversity. But they expect us to forget all our life long teachings by our elders and pretend we don't care about the person sitting next to us!!! How can we do that?! If we dont help each other than how can we expect to be helped? Some say its cheating... Its shared clarity. We are just enabling each other to understand better!! Of course there were occasions when I was referred for help when I laughed inside and asked my neighbor!

Where else can you get such unique, thrilling and touching experience of humanity, bonding and compassion?! Exams are great. They prepare us for our life ahead of us. They teach us that even if the problem is difficult and downright impossible something can be written about it....

Results on the other hand I HATE!!!!

Looking Back

Looking back at the life till now, which has been very simple, calm and normal life... NOT, I think I have met different people who have different opinions about me. I would with all my sincerity like to share some of the things which people have creatively quoted about me....

(Disclaimer: all the quotes are opinions of people who are either male or female or aliens and Big G is not responsible for their unstable state of mind)

"It takes lots of talent to be this stupid!"

- Four Eyed Stick

"ARRRRRRRRRRGHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGG AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGG AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGG AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGG.. (PAUSE)..AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGG AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGGAHAH AHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGAGGAHAHAHHAAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAGA!!!!!"

-Side kiss

"Is he mad?! If you bring him again I wont come!!!!"

- Friend of a friend whom I met through a friend who originally was a friend's friend



"He is a nice guy but...."

- Mother-moon
(Special note: I think she wanted to say "He is a nice guy but.... I cant see him in the dark")



"Eat or I'll call Big G!!"

-Mother of a delusional child



"Whenever I am late, I know you will give me company"

-Lots and lots and lots of people



"God didnt have mercy on us!"

-Again lots and lots and lots of people



"I can never afford to take you seriously"

-Someone taller than me



"Fuck off!!"

-Some unknown person



"He is a hopeless guy"

-Small girl with big name



"Its better to abduct cows!!"

-Intellectually challenged Aliens



"What a sad specimen!!!"

-Big G

Pushing The Limits!!

Before we go into what is pushing the limit let me first clarify WHY push the limit. According to article 51 (A) of our constitution states, along with other things, "To strive towards excellence in all spheres of individual and collective activity so that the nation constantly rises to higher levels of endeavor and achievement."

To push the limit we first have to know the limit. After we gain the knowledge of our limits we must then struggle to go beyond the limits!! This is the path towards excellence. And we ought to take it.
Guys in general know their limitation. We might aspire for greater things but there are serious limitations. We are not Brad Pitt or Lewis Hamilton or Hugh Hefner. And we are all aware of it. But it does not stop us from trying to get a gorgeous girl. We are all aware that we have O.K looks (Sometimes devastating) and girls will not look twice (like we do) commonly. We are made to believe that looks doesnt matter (much!!) and we must have good sense of humor.... But when we try to crack jokes some part of the girl's (and ours too) brain dies!! But these does not stop us from approaching a stunning, hot, babelicious, drop dead gorgeous girl we see!!! Even if we know either we will spend then next hour or so trying to remove the heel of the sandal from our face or trying to outrun her overgrown gorilla boyfriend...

It is something we must do! We can not be intimidated by the difference in looks or superior arrogance! Even if we are told to fuck off we cant stop. We need to push the limit!!!

On the roof in the rain

They were always very good friends. They seem to understand each other better than anybody else. It was the day of convocation and they were meeting after a very long time. He didnt know when will he be able to see her again. It was now or never





They used to hangout at the roof of the department, away from everyone else, for hours. He asked her to meet him there after the convocation....





at 8 in the evening!



He was there before his watch struck 8!





Even though it was raining heavily. It didnt stop him from standing in their favorite spot under the sky.




After what seemed like an eternity(2 minutes 43 seconds) of waiting she arrived completely drenched as she had given her umbrella to her friend who had gone to meet her boyfriend.




They talked standing in the rains, remembering all the time they spent together on that spot. His heart was beating fast and he knew that this is the last chance. He confessed his true feelings for her.




She had been waiting for him to say those words to her. The joy was overwhelming. They promised to each other that they wont be separated again, they will live and die together, as they embraced each other passionately.




Then they got struck by lightning and they fulfilled their promise to each other!!!

Misplaced???

I am now in a prestigious place. Too good I must say!! I am not a person, as you brain dead would have guessed, who like to do anything. Actually I like to sleep.... A lot!!! So waking up at 7 to go to class at 8 in the morning 6 days a week is like a torture that can only be rivaled by reading this blog!!

Actually I represent everything that is exact opposite to the belief of the department here. the motto is "quiet excellence demonstrated"!!

Quiet is every thing this blog is not.... I have posted the link on my chat status, my status in social network, tied people in the chair in front of the monitor with their eyelids taped to their forehead..... I have advertised my blog everywhere!! Only other planets are left now.

As far as excellence is concerned I can not understand the meaning of this word so cant say anything about it.

And I certainly dont have anything to demonstrate!!!!

The class is full of awesome guys (Plzzzzzz get those disgusting images out of your mind unless it turns you on)!!!And looks like only guys... It turns out that I am chick magnet.... with the same polarity!! So most of the girls have managed to eluded my presence!! The unfortunates one who couldnt are quite cool though. I just hope they survive all of us guys.

As far is place is concerned there is NOTHING like IIT.

Bloody Experience!!

"How far are you willing to go to save another human's life?" said the man in white as he handed me the rugged yet kinda soft used up red ball.
"I am willing to shed my blood for them!" I replied with a sense of determination as i felt the pressure around my arm increasing from the cloth tied around it. And then he punched the needle in my arm.

Bloody hell!!! I hate needles.

This isn't my first time thought. My first time was when I considered power rangers were cool!! I wasn't sure then. Not sure if I could do it. Not sure I would be able to sustain the agony of watching my own blood going away from me. But then our lab teacher told us that whoever goes through with will receive above 90% marks in the lab!! All the doubts and hesitation vanished like the hope of retaining the T-20 World Cup... Till date I am proud that I got those marks through my own sweat and blood!!

Time has changed though. World has gone broke. I cant touch my toes anymore (with straight legs). And apparently blood bank now use hosepipe to suck out the blood from the donor!! They sucked out entire 300 ml or so in just two minutes!! Nearly one-tenth of the time from when I first visited them! maybe they are afraid that I'll run away, with the needle sticking out of my arm and a blood bag dragging behind.

But I urge all you useless people sitting in front of your monitor reading this to get up and donate your blood. Unless you are drug addict, or drunk, or have some hideous disease, or weigh less than Michael Jackson when he died!

Like they say "give blood save life", or something of that sort.

Frozen feet!!

I don't have much time left!! The freedom I have been enjoying for the last year or so is going to end. Got to move my lazy bum to survive again. Back to school!! At the start of my event less life I used to go to a school and now I will be going to b school. Luckily the creators either had Dyslexia or suffered from memory loss and stopped at 'b' otherwise we still would be carrying books on our back until our bellybutton touched our feet!!

Right now I am shit scared!! Partially because of I am going deep down south and partially due to other students profile. It looks like all of them are experienced and I will be the only virgin there!! Although I was assured that there will be people of my kind there but that would be rarity...

As far as the place is concerned I don't know what to expect. People are great but for me it would be like N!xau in the city!! As far as weather is concerned I was briefed that there are only three seasons in Chennai. Hot, hotter and hottest!! So at least I will have a very good tan when I return.

Aftermath

All the character and incidents are fictional and are product of the blogger's creative mind. If you find any resemblance to the living or dead you are reading this blog way to much you worthless scum.

Part I

*tring tring* (thats the only thing I could think of for the ringing phone)

Thakur:Hello

Veeru: What the hell???

T: What?

V: Why did you write my name??

T: Oh that.

V: Yes that!

T: Well I couldn't think of any other name.

V: What kind of excuse is that?

T: Its not an excuse!! Its just a name. You are not the only one named Veeru!

V: Yes, but people can relate me to this. And who the hell is Radha??

T: Someone I knew.

V: See!! Names of people you know.

T: OK. You want me to change the name??

V: Hmm... I dont mind.

T: What the...??!! Then why all this ruckus?

V: Just for fun. :P

T: You are pure evil! If I had hands I would have slapped you!! And don't say smiley when talking!!

V: Ya!! Just one more thing. Can you change Radha to Basanti??

T: What?? Bansanti??

V: Yup.

T: You think it will help your cause?

V: Dunno.

T: She doesn't even read my blog!! In fact no one does.

V: Its just for my mental satisfaction.

T: .....

V: Well??

T: Hmmmm... If some one actually reads it and controversy happens...

V: Then you will be blamed!!

T: Damn you!!

V: But as you said no one reads what you manage to write without your hands. And it will give some flare to your writing.

T: Hmmm..

V: So???

T: *Sigh* If you put it that way.

V: Good!!


Part II

*tring tring*

Thakur: Hello.

Veeru: How the hell do you answer the phone ?!!!

T: I always have my earpiece on!

V: .....

T: Whats the matter?

V: Basanti read it!!

T: Really! What did she say??

V: *&%#@$

T: Hahahahahaha!!

V: It was for you.

T: It was your idea you bastard!!!

V: But she doesnt know that. So it would be better if you change the names... again, or else you will find Dhanno chasing you with Basanti on top of her!!!

T: You rascal!!! You realize how difficult it is to keep editing when you dont have any hands??!!

V: Why the hell do you write it then you eel??!

T: Nothing else to do...

V: Get on it then!

T: You *&%$!#@!!!!

Love letter

Dearest Basanti,

Of all the things in my life I cherish the people I have known and of all those people I cherish you the most. Everyday i thank the almighty for the beautiful angel in my life. From the day I met you till the day we got married and every day after that has been the most wonderful and joyous days of my life. Even if I am not with you right now I can feel you through each and every fiber of my being. I cant imagine my life without you.

So you can imagine my horror when I heard about the mishap. Even if I wasn't there but when mom told me I could actually see you driving over the divider and hitting the lamp post on the side of the road at your top speed of 30 kph. Good thing that the Civic had air bags and you always wear seat belt. BMC has placed the lamp posts in tricky positions so I can understand how difficult and dangerous it is out on the road.

You do know I much I care about you and how much you mean to me. So please promise me that you wont take our new BMW out.

Will be back soon. LOVE YOU.

Only yours,
Veeru

Complimenting a girl

Aim:
To compliment an unknown girl on her beauty.

Apparatus required:
i) A fool (big one, very big one indeed with a death wish)
ii) A girl (who looks attractive to the fool mentioned earlier)
iii) Group of friends (in evil mood to inspire the fool to carry out the task)
iv) A very public place.

Procedure:
i) First let the friends take the fool to a suitable public place where the the requirement can be fulfilled.
ii) The fool needs to find an attractive (according to him) and has to tell the friends that he thinks she is good looking.
iii) The friends then need to mind wash the fool and try to convince him that this he should compliment the pretty girl (according to the fool) !! This step must be carried out very carefully as the fool will be scared at prospect and any awareness of dangerous consequences will make the fool back out.
iv) The fool will still be very reluctant to go. So 1-2 of the friends must accompany him to half way or to a safe distance from where they can see the following steps without being seen. This step should be carried out with precision and the friends who are to escort the fool are to be chosen wisely.
v) The brain washing step should be continued during the escort if possible as the fool may have a last minute mind change. As the fool is completely mind washed the escorting friends may have to instruct the fool what to say to the girl.
vi) After the fool is left alone to carry out the next steps one of the friends must return to the group to take them to the other one. If only one friend is escorting he should return to the group to call them as soon the fool reaches a distance of no return according to him.
vii) The fool should approach the girl alone. And then try to tell the girl what he is instructed as well as what he can think of in the situation (which is more or less fatal).
viii) After exchanging words with the girl the fool should return to the group and report every thing.

Observation:
Fool: Excuse me.
Girl: .....
Fool: I just couldn't help but notice you. You are looking very nice.
Girl: Shut the hell up!!!
Fool: Please..
Girl: Get the f**k out of here!!!
Fool: Please don't take it as an offense. Its just a compliment.
(Girl leaves fuming, ignoring the fool)

Conclusion: The task was dangerous and probably fatal but was carried out successfully. The fool was unharmed by the girl or any mob.

my second time

So I managed to drag my lazy bum to convince myself that I can write something after all. This is my second post ( I am keeping track for those pathetic peoples who cant count (..........?????) if you cant count that means you are illiterate (or just plain stupid (more stupid than Ben Stiller from Simple Jack (which was a movie that Ben Stiller did in Tropic Thunder which is also a movie in which he acts as an actor....(???) I am getting sidetracked here...)) and cant even read the blog... wait this means you cant even use a computer (not like i am distributing printout of my blog (which you cant read))..................................(??????) Here I go again!!! Writing something than saying it can not be logically derived by any possible chain of thoughts and creating a paradox ( is this what you call a paradox?? I dont know, my English is weak... so weak it will loose an arm wrestling with a new born ant suffering from viral for weeks....) and confusing my self and asking the eternal question: can anyone actually circumcise with a katana (like in the joke where three warriors demonstrate their skills with the first one cutting a flying fly (flying fly??? How ironical!!) in two halves (two halves?? that is ironical a well) and the second one cutting another flying fly (lol) in four parts and the third guy swings but the flying fly (no comment) still flying and he retorts by saying he just performed a circumcision on the flying fly) and am I thinking straight???

....................

I forgot what I was going to write in this post (even lost track of all the brackets and dont have any patience of reviewing and closing them all)..........

Whatever! The original was also meaningless any way!!

Introduction

Finally I did it!!!! I got so bored that I had to start blog to disperse my boredom (it is said that boredom will lessen if you share it( ..... or was it pain?)) to all you i-am-not-bored-because-i-am-busy people (come to think of it..... if you in your sane or delinquent (or any other state which i cant think of because i am bored) state of mind, are actually reading this blog you are not busy and trying to pass some time (which means you are bored) , I can not spread my boredom to you already bored specimen...... which makes my writing this blog pointless(?) ARGHHHHHHH.......... ).

I didn't think it was possible for me to get bored after (a lot of) years of perfecting my skill of doing nothing..... but even a perfect being (I) has limits!!!

It could be a good thing after all (not for you of course) for all the pathetic, stereotype, desperate, lonely and sad blogers (whose blogs are less popular than.... me with girls (i am gonna die a bachelor :(( ) as their blogs (with same adjectives as the blogers ) will look better than this one.... So I am actually doing some good by bringing joy in the life of pathetic ... etc blogers (it might be good for you after all)!!!!

Disclaimer/ Warning: this blog is very very and i mean very useless and seriously boring (i'll put all my effort and experience into it) . If you are victim of low blood pressure please avoid as you will die of no blood pressure (as this part is in the end you are probably dead.... may your soul rest in peace and your body found by others before it start to smell)!!! If you are pregnant or going to be pregnant.... Congratulation!!